Automotive jokes
Why are sex toys something to stuff in your asshole and not a big racecar?
What do pedophiles do when they wake up?
Turn on the child safety lock on the car.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What has tree roots and what do I have for kids? What is the difference between a human and a used tire?
Tree roots are under the tree, and used tires are under the Hummer.
You could say ancient Egyptians and JDM car fans are alike--they both worship Datsun.
What's the difference between Stephen and a car? A car loses oil, Stephen loses the ability to walk.
New Teslas don't come with a new car smell; they come with an Elon Musk.
How does Stephen Hawking get clean?
He uses Tesco car wash.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Seat belts are like the condom for cars.
My favorite thing to do in my free time is putting a large skewer on the front of my car and speeding through a school zone trying to make a kebab.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's the difference between a sports car and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a sports car in my garage.
What is the difference between my Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?
I don't keep my Lamborghini in my garage.
What’s the difference between a tire and three-hundred-sixty-five used condoms?
One’s a good year; the other’s a great year!
What's the difference between a Lambo and 100 dead babies?
I don't have a Lambo in my garage.