Attack

Attack jokes

Terrorist

  • Two terrorists walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What can I get you?"

    The terrorists both say, "A beer."

    The bartender overhears them talking about how they will kill 300 people and a donkey. The bartender says, "Why a donkey?"

    One terrorist says, "See, I told you no one would care about the people!"

  • 2
  • Euphemism

  • Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"

  • 8
  • Comedy

  • I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

    And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

    It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

  • 1
  • Plane

  • (The plane) we can’t go over it, we can’t go under it. Oh no, we have to go through it.