Astronomy

Astronomy jokes

Sun

I wonder if the sun is going to rise every morning. Then it dawns on me.

Solar Eclipse

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

Dad

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

Memes

Uranus

Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.

Roof

One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?

Sky

Why does the sky think it's so powerful?

Because it's always looking down on us.

Sun

North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.

Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."

The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."

Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."

Asteroid

When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:

98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!

1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.

Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!

Uranus

If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.

Saturn

What song does Saturn sing?

"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."

Sun

Why didn't the sun go to college?

Because it already had a million degrees!

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