Astronomy jokes
There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?
What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
How do you organize a space themed birthday party?
You planet.
Uranus, ur-anus, your anus. Anus is what's in between your two buttocks.
One night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars. As I lay there, I thought to myself: WHERE'S THE ROOF?
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
Why does the sky think it's so powerful?
Because it's always looking down on us.
I love the way the Earth rotates.
It really makes my day!
Mooning is very astrological!
North Korea and the Martians were fighting about who was going to reach Venus first.
Trump steps in and says, "That doesn't matter, America is going to land on the sun first."
The Martians and North Korea said, "You can't land on the sun, it's too hot and you will die."
Trump said his brilliant plan, "America is going to land there at night."
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
The whole solar system is one big family, right? But everyone circles the sun.
If a man is willing to try his hardest to give you the moon and stars, then ladies, you should be willing to give up Uranus.
Where do alien cows come from?
- The Milky Way.
Why is Mars red? Because it saw Uranus! 😂
What song does Saturn sing?
"If you like it then you should have put a ring on it."
Why is the moon always hungry? It is almost never full.
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!