Astronomy

Astronomy jokes

Space

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

Uranus

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"

Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."

Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

Space

Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?

Because he didn't have enough space.

Black Hole

Did you know there are black holes billions of years old?

What’s more amazing is the black holes Stephen Hawking studied. We're only 14 years old.

Memes

Earth

what the earth would look live after a year of the moon slowing down:

An image of the Earth surrounded by rings, similar to Saturn's, set against a dark, starry background. The Earth is partially obscured by shadow and the rings are shades of gray and white.

Yo mama

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

Insult

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

Fat

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

  • 5
  • Sun

    What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

    A Milky Way 😱

  • 5
  • Uranus

    Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

    Uranus

    Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

  • 7
  • Mama

    Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

  • 7
  • Mama

    Yo mama so fat when she went on a plane, somebody yelled "A solar eclipse!"