Astronomy jokes

Patient to doctor: "Will I be ok, Doc?"

Doctor: "I doubt it. Mercury is in Uranus now."

Patient: "I don't do that astrology stuff."

Doctor: "Nor me. My thermometer just broke."

Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?

Because he didn't have enough space.

Stephen Hawking is so lucky to go to heaven.

Oh never mind, here comes the stairway.

Yo mama so fat, when she joined NASA, they put her in orbit and the next day there was a lunar eclipse.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

You're so fat, astronomers discovered a planet larger than Earth but smaller than Uranus.

What is the sun's favorite chocolate bar?

A Milky Way 😱

Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

Where do otters come from? Otter space.

Sir William Herschel discovered Uranus in 1781, 200 years before you were born. How did he do that?

“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”

No sun.

Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?

A: The Blackhole.

Why do you have to watch your back at NASA? They want to probe Uranus.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits down, the earth falls out of the Solar System.

Flat Earther pickup line: "The Earth may be flat, but Uranus is round."

What do astronauts eat off of? A satellite dish.

Yo forehead so big, NASA thought it was Mars.

Why can't you tell anyone about space?

Because it's too out of this world!