Ass jokes

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

My sister and a basketball got certain things in common.

My sister's tits and ass are bouncy like a basketball.

What’s the difference between jelly and jam?

You can’t “jelly” it in her ass.

My screen lock is my favorite picture of my wife. When I'm on a 14-hour shift, being miserable, hating my life... I pull out my phone and gaze at the picture of my wife. Then I realize it's better here than at home with her ass.

"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."

-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War

What do you call a rabbit with a big ass?

A BUNny.

Kylin likes to eat Violet's ass.

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!

How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."

TJ's hairline is so far back his friends don't even want to talk to his ugly ass!

Who's in my ass?

Your sister.

His gay ass dad.

Your momma's so fat, when she pulls her knickers down, her ass is still in them.

It is a known fact that you cannot say “harassment” without “her ass.”

I guess you could say, “harassment something.”

What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?

A mega-sore-ass.

Why does new pavement smell like butt?

In other words you can also call it asphalt.

Ass-phalt.

"Stupid ass baby."

If all women disappeared one day, it would be a pain in the ass.