What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
The holy water in this church is of the highest quality: it has been assed by the bishop.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"
The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"
Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"
Can you believe they're still together after everything they've been through?
Who you might ask...
YOUR ASS CHEEKS!
Three Europeans come to America. They are all captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. But the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach, and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, “Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a BANANA!!"
Why is calculus called calc? Because you need a calculator. Lol.
Why is Fairy's washing up liquid the best form of lubricant for anal sex?
No more tears.
What does "A" say to "ss"?
"We are the perfect couple. We make Ass."
What time do dogs wake up? At school is the time dogs wake up.
why did the dick suck my ass, they died
If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.
I will give you all the fine chicks you want. Just dial this number: 313-974- tap that ass from Hooters strip club.
America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"
UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.
America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖
"Clap clap clap that ass, bitch, shake that cameltoe, let them see them pussy lips!"
"Jizzy jazz all over my ass."
How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? When you pull her pants, her ass.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
