Ass Jokes

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke some mairawanah Jack got high and grabbed her thigh and said i know you wanna but dumb ass jill forgot her pills and now they have 12 kids

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.

I have a fat ass

Yo mamma so stupid she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing I’ve Got The Power.

Me on the way to my physical labor job knowing
there's some Asian chick sitting in her apt
wearing cat ears with a tentacle dildo shoved in
her ass making way more money than me
Cat memes
Now I'm angry and erect...

He only won the election because of rigging.

82 million votes my ass.

Ask me for proof.

What did the pencil say to the piece of paper? You FLAT.

What did the spoon say to the pancake batter? You THICK.

Hi guys, the prankster is back!

I was gone for a long time because of this bullying about a nice sweet girl named Gwen! So my 6th prank is on...

When I put some bad stuff in my sister's toothpaste bottle!

Okay, so I took some smelly mints from the jelly bean game! I had molded cheese jelly bean, molded milk, and worms jelly bean! Jelly bean tasting is this game where weird tasted jelly beans are in there, so I got some mints and put it there! Then next thing you knew was, my sassy ass sister had her breath smelling like a chimpanzee's buttock!

"Stupid ass baby."

Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!