Ass jokes
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?"
"This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world!", says Johnny.
The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny, and says, "Now you know that's not true, son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy."
Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true, but one drop of this on a cat's ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
Bully: Gina, why are you such a whore?
Gina: Because they hit me on the ass!
Bully: Yuh, that must be nice!
Gina: Hmmm...
Gina: Wanna???
Bully: 😍😍😍...sexy ass ever!
Bully 🖐🏻🍑
Gina😊
Please help me... I’m being held captive by Carl Wheezer.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.
He only won the election because of rigging.
82 million votes my ass.
Ask me for proof.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
Trump is ass.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
What did the first guy say to the second? Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
My sad ass life.
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
How do you make an ass laugh?
Crack a CHEEKY JOKE.
Is it just me, or when you wipe your ass too deep, it reminds you of your uncle? Just me?
My wife told me to pass her some chapstick, but then I realized she hasn’t talked to me in a month, then remembering I gave her super glue.........ehh I’m done with her big ass mouth.
The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.
Cooper and Max want to get fucked in the ass by guys.
The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.
Mom: (Looking through Facebook) How adorable!
Kid: (Looking over her shoulder) What a cute ass!
The kid's mom blushes until she realizes what he was pointing to. It was a picture of a baby donkey.
The real question is, what was she looking at on the same screen that made her blush at that remark?
Statistically, 1 in 10 people live next door to a pedophile. But not me, I live next to a 10-year-old boy with a fat ass.
Yo mom!