I asked my orphan friend what his movie is, he said spiderman, no way home. I said "Proabaly becuase its so relatable, right?" He started crying I dont know why.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the tom holland spiderman movies with me and he started crying..
My son came up to me and said “mom, where are your parents?” I stared in confusion i said “in a far place.” He asked “In and orphanage?”
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”
If a blonde and a brunette jump off a building who would hit the ground 1st? The brunette because the blonde would have to stop and ask for directions! ⬆️⬇️➡️⬅️
An Orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday, i said "Don't you have a family?"
my cousin said being gay was such a pain in the ass and i asked him why and i said cuz you get buttfu@ckd and he said no i get made fun of and i said why cuz you get buttfucked? and he said no terd then i said wow atleast im not the one with real pains in my ass bro
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "did you see that?" She says "yes", so the man shoots her. He leaves the bank and sees a couple, he asks "did you see that?" "No but my wife did!" The husband said.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick, she said shut the fuck up and keep digging
A guy sees a kid crying and the guy walkes up to the kid and asks were are your parents...God i love working at an orphanage
My bff asked me: "You know why it took Carlos 3 days to move on?" I said: "Why?" My bff says: "Well its because he was already cheating." I said: "KNEW IT!"
Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy
so my son is into astronomy, and he asked how stars die. I said usually overdose.
So one day a teacher asked how many of you have thought of committing suicide half of the class raised their hand but the teacher said “ Where is Jesse and John “ ?
Hey guys how was ur day? If you ask me the same question heres the answer, depressing. I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old, D.K, freshfry, ALYA's "Jokes" or opinions.
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
a boy asks a zookeeper (why there is a baguette in a cage?)
the zookeeper says " it`s bread in captivity!!!!!!
A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.
I woke up to my daughter riding me in bed. I asked "What are you doing?" She replied, "Making a Creampie."
A Man walks into a bar and Orders 3 shots of Whisky, The Bartender asks "What's got you down" The man says "I just found out my Niece is gay." The next day he orders 4 shots of Whisky The Bartender asks "What's got you down now?" The man says "I just found out my son is gay." The next day he orders 6 shots of whisky The Bartender says "Got anybody who likes Women?" The man says "My wife does."
