Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face. My parents are the worst."
I have a question, does aging affect corpses too? just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500. The first replied:"For 500€? Of course!" The second said:"I'd do it for free!" The third replied:"I would even give her 200€!" The fourth replied:"With my ex? Never!
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull. A jewish guy behind me said “a skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers.”
“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?
”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”
Doctor ask his patient "what is your zodiac sign?". Patient replies cancer, Doctor says what a coincidence.
People ask me if my friend jumps of a bridge will I go as well. Of course not. I am a leader I will go first, my friend will jump after me!
I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.
What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature
I asked my friend how long i can be in sky he sayed if u are emo then forever
Mom asks “Why are you are THIS show??? It’s DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!” The child says “Don’t you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?” Mon whispers “Oh, you DEAD.”
Mom asks “Who are you talking to?” The child said “A mistake.”
2 boys were at a lake and they went to a bush and saw a naked lady, one ran away, the other one followed the one who ran and asked why he ran, the boy answered, "My mum told me if I saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, I ran away because I felt something get hard"
I asked a emo kid if they wanna hang out
. What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
I saw a kid crying in the corner. I asked them where their parents are, Man I love working at an orphanage
A emo man asked a librarian for a suicide book she said no because you wont bring it back
there was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was? she said well son do you see that guy over there across the road, go give him a high-five. Son said but I can't see. mom said that's the point
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
ur mom is so fat that when god said " let there be light, " he asked you to move out the way
