So, my sister is a feminist. I asked her, "Do you want to hear a rape joke?" She said no. I still decided to force one down her throat anyway.
One time I saw a kid crying, so I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at an orphanage!
Some people say I'm rude, but I think I'm pretty nice because the other day I saw this kid crying on the road and I asked him where his parents were. I just love looking at an orphanage.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
I was at the orphan place, and I saw a kid crying. And I asked him where his parents are, and he fainted.
I was an orphan as a kid, but I have never had a bitch, so I asked this cheerleader to homecoming, and she said, "Mofo, you are only coming to hoco because you need a home to go to!"
Just ask your dad.
This is not a joke, Tom. I'm asking you to leave me alone, stop being sexual, I don't like you.
I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.
The guy called up to the orphanage, then he asked, "Where are the kids' faces?"
Then another guy said, "Sorry, there's no homepage."
Yo mom's so fat, I went over to her house a few years ago and wanted to watch TV.
So I asked for the TV remote, and she's still trying to get it!
You are so poor, when I pass you, you ask for spare change, and I was poor, too.
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh, honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" The sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
I went to a tall girl and I asked her, "What do you do for a living?" She says, "An account." So I reply with, "An accounting the hairs on people's heads," and then I run away.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."
I saw a kid crying, so I asked them, "Where are your parents?" Then she cried harder, so I left the orphanage.
I asked my boyfriend who his favorite motivational speaker was. He said Andrew Tate. I told him the BEST motivational speaker was Stephen Hawking.
A limbless man sat on the side of a lake every day. He had no hands or legs.
One day he was crying when a woman was walking by and saw that he was upset, so she asked if he was okay. He replied, "No."
The woman said, "Well, what's wrong?"
The limbless man said, "I've never been hugged by anyone ever."
So the woman, out of kindness, hugged the man. "Are you okay now?" she asked.
"No," the man replied. So again the woman asked him what was wrong. He answered, "I've never been kissed before."
The woman eagerly gave him a peck on the lips and asked, "Are you okay now?"
The man shook his head sadly. The woman asked him what was wrong for the third time. The man said, "I've never been fucked."
The woman looked at him, picks him up, throws him in the lake, and says, "Now you are!"
Four gay guys are sitting in a Jacuzzi when all of a sudden, a condom starts floating. One of the gay guys turns around and asks, "Okay, who farted?"
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
