Artist

Artist Jokes

Son

When my son was little, he loved to draw. Although he would always rip up the paper whenever there was one little slip up. Too bad he became a tattoo artist.....

Porn star

What do CG artists and porn stars have in common?

They both composite (cum pose it) at the end.

Genocide

Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?

He never learned to mix the colors.

Forehead

Your favorite artist must be Rihanna, the way your forehead shines bright like a diamond!

Shoulder

Whenever my artist girlfriend is sad, I let her draw things on my body.

I gave her a shoulder to crayon.

Parent

Are your parents bakers? Because you're a cutie pie.

Are you a loan? Because you've got my interest.

Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.

Are you an artist? Because you’re really good at drawing me in.

I believe in following my dreams. Can I have your Instagram?

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.

If you were a flower, you'd be a daaaaaamn-delion!

Penaldo

Official Dj Penaldo playlist.

1. "I'm a fraud" 2. "I need you (ft. Tap-ins)" 3. "I Want to Leave Mid United" 4. "Back where I belong (ft. Europa league)" 5. "TY Eder" 6. "Nobody wants me (Rejectnaldo Remix)" 7. "Fuck that kid (ft. Lil Broke phone)" 8. "Sewy (Benched +arms crossed version)"

Meal

Ya make 10 paintings, you aren't an artist.

Ya make 20 meals, you aren't a chef.

But when I kill ONE PERSON, I'm a "horrible person" and a "menace to society."

Tattoo

I now know what my first tattoo should be, zebra stripes! Not like anyone would know the difference between them.

Rapper

What do you call a rapper in a wheelchair?

Young Boy Never Walk again.

Orphanage

What do Bob Ross's painting and the orphanage have in common?

They're both filled with happy little accidents.

Song

Q. What is Terri Schiavo's favorite Eminem song?

A. "Till I Collapse."

Song

Interviewer: Hey JFK, what’s your favorite song by Jessie J?

JFK: I er ah Bang Bang.

Song

What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."

Emo

I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.