Art jokes
Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"
You look like a 2 year old drawing that came alive.
What is the difference between tuna, a piano, and glue? You can tuna a piano, but you cannot piano a tuna.
(The person you ask should say what about the glue.) Response: I knew you would get stuck there.
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
If museums are full of dead things... Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
I'm bone dry in material, but I have a skeleTON of skeleton jokes. After I tell you all these rib ticklers, you will have a bone to pick with if you didn't find that funny, you outta rip my spine out.
I got rejected from art school today, so yeah.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
They laughed at my crayon drawing.
So I laughed at their chalk outline.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
Wow, paint can, you have such a colorful personality!
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
What did the paintings name their daughter?
Palette.
I drew a picture of a whale in the ocean. My brother asked, "What are you drawing?" I said, "You taking a shower."
Did you hear about the dead artist?
Too many strokes.
I asked my dad, "Why did you paint rabbits on your bald head?"
He replied, "Because I thought it would look like hares."
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating Soviet-Polish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests.
The painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky.
"But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" asks one of the guests.
"Lenin is in Poland," replies the painter.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!