Ares jokes
You are so ugly Santa goes "ho ho ho holy sh*t."
Roses are red, violets are blue, You missed your lesson today, so you are gay.
Why are orphans good at math? Because they can subtract their parents from the family.
You are family.
There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
I'm going to start taking confetti with me to therapy so when my therapist asks me, "How are you?" I can say "sad" and toss the confetti everywhere. It'll be like a real-life iMessage!
Why are the twin towers sad?
Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza and got a plane!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
Yo mama jokes are so old, like your mom.
Why can’t orphans go to the hospital? The front desk always asks, “Where are your parents?”
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers?
They can go through 100 floors in 7 seconds.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.
You're a copycat from Ballarat You smell like a rat, you wear a hat and you are shaped like a baseball bat.
Song by John Rizk
Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost the towers.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
My two moods are “I can’t believe I get to be a person” and “I can’t believe I have to be a person.”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owl.
Owl who?
Who? Are you meant to ask "who?"