Ares jokes

Man

14 views ·

This man got his left arm and left leg cut off, and someone asked him, "How are you?" And he said, "I’m all right now."

Muffin

1 view ·

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Man, it's hot in here!"

The other muffin says, "OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!"

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  • Infection

    91 views ·

    Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

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  • Cat

    3 views ·

    There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?

    Zero, they were copycats.

    Pedophile

    58 views ·

    OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.

    But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.

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  • Seashell

    36 views ·

    Why do mermaids wear seashells?

    They are too big for “B” shells, and too small for “D” shells.

    Aussie

    25 views ·

    An Aussie, an Asian, and a Frenchman are in a bar.

    The Asian throws his whiskey in the air and shoots it. The Frenchman asks, "Why did you do that?" The Asian says, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Frenchman throws his champagne in the air and shoots it. Then the Aussie asks, "Why did you do that?" The Frenchman replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."

    The Aussie then throws his beer up in the air and shoots the Asian. Then the Frenchman asked, "Why did you do that?" The Aussie then replies, "There are plenty of them where we come from."