Ares jokes
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Three guys are escaping from North Korea through a tunnel.
The guards know that they are coming and will shoot them with paintball guns as a warning.
The guys show up and the guards shoot them.
The guys die because the guards used real guns.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
Roses are red, the sky is blue, what do you do? Oh, never mind, I'm not homo like you.
Why can't Jordan moan?
Because his parents are in the room next to him. Asleep.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?
Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.
Why are mountains so cold?? Your mom lol.
Why are women like diapers?
They’re usually full of shit, but thankfully disposable.
Today I explain what things are fake: serial killers, clowns, Billy, fairies, your life, God, Jesus, your mom, and all your crappy fan-fictions about being saved from your even crappier life.
I'm also gonna explain real stuff: YouTube, your dad, scientists, teachers, God, Jesus, and Billy.
Stuff on both is real and fake depending on who you are. Your life IS fake. A lot of idiots will read this.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
The 9/11 victims, they went through 700 stories in 10 seconds.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims, they went through 72 stories in less than 10 seconds.
The greatest doctor, smartest man, young geek, and inspiring preacher are on a plane. The pilot dies of a heart attack and is confirmed by the doctor. But, there are only 3 parachutes on the plane. The doctor takes one and says,
"People need me for my excellent medicine!" and jumps out. The smart man grabs one and shouts,
"People are in need of my great knowledge!" and jumps out. There is only one more parachute on the plane. The preacher says to the geek,
"You are too young. Take the final parachute and go." The geek instead says,
"No, there are two parachutes left, the 'smart' one took my backpack."
All germs are from GERMany.
Bippity Boppity,
Women are property.
A friend asked me, "Where are you going?"
I answered, "6 feet underground."
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: Doctor, when should I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you!
Why are mountains very cold?
Because they are very cold.