Ares jokes
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims.
A Muslim is about to commit suicide when a Catholic priest stops him.
"What are you doing?!" exclaims the priest.
"There is nothing on this Earth for me," the Muslim says. "I will commit suicide to go to paradise and get 72 virgins!"
The priest shakes his head.
"Foolish Muslim, suicide is not the way!" he says.
"Follow me, I'll take you to the local primary school."
Why are all the emos banned from Six Flags?
Because they keep cutting in line.
Why do they call my dick section 8?
Because all the hoes are on it.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm stroking my dick and thinking of you.
When Little Johnny was about 3, he got curious and stuck his hand up a mannequin's pants. His mom says, "No, Little Johnny, there are teeth up there that will bite off your hand." Little Johnny thinks, "Oh no, I can't do that again."
A few years later, he was 15 and he had a girlfriend, and they were making out. She says, "Why don't you ever stick your hand up my pants?" He says, "Oh no, my mom says there are teeth that will bite off my hand up there." She says, "No, there isn't, just look!" Little Johnny looks and says, "Well, no wonder there ain't no teeth. By the way, them gums look..."
Why do orphans hate geometry? Cuz it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Shrek thought he was ugly until he saw you.
An orphan asked his caretaker where his parents are, and the caretaker said, "A place called home."
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
The bully: Your gay.
The nerd: You are.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: What, your gay?
Your hairline jokes are so bad that they make me want to rip all my hair out.
The bully: You're gay.
The nerd: I am.
The bully: Yeah.
The nerd: Then what are you?
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
Why are cheetahs bad at running away? They always get spotted.
Are you a rope? Because I want to hang sometimes.