Ares jokes

People

    • So, I don't want anyone taking this the wrong way, people are free to be whatever they feel they are, and that's not anyone else's choice.

    BUT!!!!!!

    I personally have my own feelings on "churches and christianity". I feel that it is against The God Delusion and is an abomination to anyone who has half a braincell. I know plenty of Christian people, and I respect that! NO, REALLY, I DO. My best friend is a dumbass Christian just like you are, and I respect that's how she feels, and I'm glad that she made her choice. But I don't love it when people promote this stuff, because it is what the morons are tricking everyone into doing/being. Falling into the brainwashed act is NOT something you should ever want to do. As someone who has some intelligence, this is not okay in my sense.

    As someone who isn't an Aussie, I note that Idfk what this is: "The people who defended Australia get 2 days, remembrance day and Anzac day + 1 minute of silence." BUT the christianism community gets YEARS IN THIS DUMB WORLD where they are told that they are 'special' and 'normal, like everyone else'. Which is really unfair and in a way, biased. I was only 7 when I recognized this just from being told at school by all the kids in my class that they are either CHRISTIAN or support it.

    I know and understand I will get a lot of hate from this, I also don't give a shit, but please remember that it's just my thoughts and opinion. Thank you for reading. :)

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    • Priest

    • A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.

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    • Test

    • Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.

    Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."

    Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"

    Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."

    Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"

    Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"

    Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."

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    • Ground Zero

    • A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"

    An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"

    The Scouser says, "Liverpool."

    The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"

    The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"

  • 1

    • Door

    • Pretend you are an old man who is 77 years old and there are 7 doors, which door should you pick?

    The seventh door.

    Split

    • I asked the gym instructor,

    "Can you teach me to do the splits?"

    "How flexible are you?" he asked.

    "Well, I can't make it on Fridays."

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    • Rape

    • Why do so many people get charged with rape? Because they are too stupid to finish her off and bury the body.

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    • Pronoun

    • You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

    Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

    Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

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    • People

    • Why are bald people very easily manipulated by a shower?

    Because when they take a bath, they get brainwashed!

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    • Vegan

    • Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.

    Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.

    Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?

    Kids: Yeah!

    Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!

    Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.

    *Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*

    Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.

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