Ares jokes
My parents created a joke 11 years ago and people are still laughing at it, but I know it's not me because jokes have meaning.
Are you George Floyd?
'Cause baby, you take my breath away... OOF!
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost their towers.
Why are Asian's eyes always squinted?
Nukes are bright.
Are you a school? 'Cause I wanna shoot kids in you.
Why are adopted kids better than bio kids? Because their parents actually wanted them.
Why are lesbians so bad at math? They can't multiply.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.
But she so ugly people are repelled by her.
Cemeteries are so popular! People are, like... dying to get there.
Me: Hey God, are you there? It's me, Michael.
God: *SILENCE*
Me: If any gods exist, they better say or do something this instant!
God: *SILENCE*
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
Did you know that they are making a movie about the four boys who lost their lives on the ice? They're calling the movie "The Lost Boys."
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What is a girl's favorite song when they are on their period?
"Period, oh period, oww!"
A Catholic priest finds a young boy crying at the top of a cliff.
“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
The boy points down. “Mummy and Daddy were in the car and it went over the edge.”
The priest can see the flaming wreck below. He looks around and sees no one else is about and starts to unbutton his belt.
“It’s really not your day, is it?”
Why are orphans so skinny?
They never learned how to home cook.
Me: Mom, should I kill the main character in the book I'm writing to make things more interesting?
Mom: Sure, honey! What type of book are you writing?
Me: It's an autobiography.