Ares jokes
I just found out, these jokes are about dead people.
Mom, where are we going?
To your grandma's funeral.
Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.
What excuse can you use if you find out your date is a rape victim and you don't want the baggage?
Say you've parked your car in a bad spot and are just going to move it, then move your car all the way back to your home address.
What does Micheal Jackson and a rock have in common?
They are both hard.
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Is that what you think? You have no clue, you fool!
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.