Ares jokes
There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.
Me: Mom, if Adam and Eve are white, then how were slaves made?
Mom: Well, Eve and the monkey fucked each other.
Me: Oh, okay.
Goes to school.
Teacher: How were humans made?
Me: Eve fucked the monkeys.
Teacher: 😑
What is George Floyd's pickup line?
You are breathtaking.
Why are you rolling your eyes? Are you looking for your brain?
Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Is that what you think? You have no clue, you fool!
Why are orphans bad at Yahtzee?
They don't know what a house is.
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Bored? Punch an orphan! Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
You are so fat and ugly, Chucky didn't even want to play with you.
Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.
Tyler is ugly.
If you are called Tyler, change your name.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What do orphans have in common with stray dogs?
Nothing, they are both orphans.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."