Home Appliance jokes

Why are washers better than babies?

Washers don't cry when you put a load in them.

Do you want to buy my Hoover?

I mean... it's just collecting dust.

I bought a ceiling fan the other day.

It was a complete waste of money.

He just stands there applauding and saying, "Ooh, I love how smooth it is."

Me- *crying in the shower*

Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*

Where do orphans shop for home appliances?

You're so poor you put paper cutlery in the dishwasher.

What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a Harley Davidson?

The location of the Dirtbag.

We have some leak in the fridge. I'm surprised nobody has called a plumber.

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink.

Turns out it was the fridge.

Answering a knock at my door, I see a vacuum cleaner salesman who proceeds to tip a huge bucket of shit all over my carpet, before proclaiming any trace this hoover doesn't remove I will personally eat myself.

"Well, I hope you're hungry," I replied, "'cause they cut off my electric this morning!"

Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.

Me: I know how to use a microwave!

Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!

True story.

What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?

The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

The Toaster, otherwise known as the ultimate bath bomb.

The most confusing day of my life was when I found out my toaster was waterproof.

What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? You slap her on the ass and tell her to get back to work.

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.