Appearance jokes
You're adopted, do you want to know why? Because you're so ugly.
Caution: Looking at your hairline can cause you to be delirious and have hallucinations.
You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.
I think your hairline might have the hiccups.
Answer to it: You might have to give it a wash in the shower.
Charlotte looks like a sperm.
My friend is so ugly, she got surgery twice, but not even that could fix her.
My brother called me short and ugly, so I called him an ambulance.
Look behind you, there is Stephen Hawking.
Nobody.
Your hairline is so big, Niagara Falls said, "Oh, looks like we've got some competition!"
Yo mama is so ugly that not even goldfish smile back at her.
A man gets on a bus and ends up sitting next to a very attractive nun. Enamored with her, he asks if he can have sex with her. Naturally, she says no and gets off the bus. The man goes to the bus driver and asks him if he knows of a way for him to have sex with the nun.
"Well," says the bus driver, "every night at 8 o'clock, she goes to the cemetery to pray. If you dress up as God, I'm sure you could convince her to have sex with you."
The man decides to try it, and dresses up in his best God costume. At eight, he sees the nun and appears before her.
"Oh, God!" she exclaims. "Take me with you!" The man tells the nun that she must first have sex with him to prove her loyalty. The nun says yes, but tells him she prefers anal sex. Before you know it, they're getting down to it, having nasty, grunty, loud sex. After it's over, the man pulls off his God disguise.
"Ha, ha! I'm the man from the bus!"
"Ha, ha!" says the nun, removing her costume. "I'm the bus driver!"
Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.
What is Lizzo?
Big, fat, and ugly.
You're so skinny that you fall.
Do you wanna eat makeup, 'cause you're not pretty on the inside?
Your hairline is so bad when you need a role model who has been having a tough life, you go to your barber.
Your hairline is so far back, just like your dad is from you.
Yo mama so old, on her birth certificate it said "expired."
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittles popped out.
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
Yo mama so poor, she chases a garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama so ugly, she made the devil go to church.
You're so fat, the only thing you could be for Halloween is the Kool-Aid Man.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!