Appearance jokes

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.

Your hairline is so big, I couldn't find the area of it on Jupiter.

Your hairline is so ugly, it’s receding from your face to never see you.

Don't listen to people when they say you have a dad bod. You don't.

You have a father figure.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."

Your hairline so far back, it's a wide receiver for the Minnesota Vikings.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

You're so fat, that you're fat.

Yo hairline so bent even Bob the Builder can’t fix it!

Your mama is so ugly.

The Buddhist monks broke their vow of silence.

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like it got slapped back by Will Smith.

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.