Appearance jokes

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

The police gave you a fine for not fixing your ugly hairline.

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like it got slapped back by Will Smith.

Your hairline is so far back, I couldn't see you even when Will Smith slapped it.

You're so ugly your hairline ran away!

You're pretty, pretty dumb.

Yo hairline caused corruption.

Yo mama so fat she has her own gravity.

But she so ugly people are repelled by her.

Your head is so big, it looks like traffic is able to fit on it!

Your hairline is so bad that they used it as trenches in the World War.

Your hairline is an artificial fact.

"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."

Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.

You're so fat, you drank an invisibility potion, and everyone could still see you!

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

Is your hairline and forehead old friends, because they go wayyyy back?

Yo hairline is so far back that it was there before the Big Bang happened.

Take a step back... just like your hairline did.

Your hairline is so far back, when your forehead was playing tag, your hairline ran away real far.

My teacher called me beautiful. I hate when she lies.