Appearance jokes

Me: Imagine not having hair.

Kids: On chemo.

Bitch the fuck.

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

Big, ugly, and very weird.

Your hairline is so old, it’s more wrinkled than my great grandpa's penis.

My name is Devonair.

When I get a haircut, it's always bald.

Kids make fun of me, they call me "dang-near bald head."

My name is Devonair *dev-on-near*

I always thought they were making fun of me because of my name pronounced near.

Your butt is so fat, I can remove 90% of beauty with a tissue.

Akeld: Do you think I should get an edges or a tapeline?

Me: Why not make both of them there? They're both messed up anyway.

Want to hear a joke?

Your face.

You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.

If I'm ugly, why do you always look at me when I come in the door?

You’re looking pretty rough this evening. You look like if sweatpants were a person.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a big forehead, and your hairline recedes too.

Yo mama is so fat, she can’t even fit in the suitcase.

Hey, you have something on your chin, no the 3rd one down.

Your hairline is so far back that it looks like Putin's tanks steamrolled through.

Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."

Me and your hairline go way back, years and years.

Chrome turns you into chrome, but there is a chrome back bling, and it does nothing to you.

Borthwick's hairline.