A man walks into a bar with an alligator. he says to the bartender "I have a deal, if i can hold my dick in the alligators mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink" and so the bartender agreed. the man, like he said, had his dick in the alligators mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. he made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. he did it and drank his drinks. then he said to the amazed crowd, "would anyone like to volunteer?" one man raised his hand. he walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "just a warning, i don't think i can hold my mouth open that long."
The other day a squirrel asked me for a job, I asked him what jobs did you have previously. Calmly he answered," I am a pilot, I can pick it up from here and pile it over there, I also can fly a sign!!!" " To bad, this is a nut cannery, and we're 100% automated, we don't need anyone at this time, sorry." " No worries, I'm totally nuts anyway, guess I'll fly a sign across town, don't have bus fare!!!"
My name is Gwen and I say rape jokes aren't funny. It's not funny for people to have sex with you without you agreeing also there getting old and NOT FUNNY! If anyone has something to say pls do. Comment if you agree or not. It's okay I want to hear what you say. Just tell if they are not funny. We will have a contest to see how many people comment on saying there good and funny or people saying there bad and terrible jokes and should not be made. May the best votes and comments win.
They finally released the audio recording from the black box in Kobe’s helicopter. Apparently when the helicopter caught fire Kobe was sitting right next to the only fire extinguisher. You could hear everyone screaming for him to put out the fire but he couldn’t figure out how to use it. They begged and pleaded for him to give the extinguisher to anyone else... the last thing you hear is Kobe saying “I’d rather die than pass it”
Ok when I leave for ONE DAY something happens like people being sexist and men saying that women are weak (Which is Not True), AND rape I hate hearing and really saying the word just stop with all this nonsense. I say Rape and Sexist and Woman Asult jokes should not be allowed. They are too cruel and mean to women. Most men are weaker that woman. So don't anyone make anymore things or "jokes" about rape. Women are strong and don't be mean to them. Sincerely, watersharky ( How did i not misspell????)
Gwen-Kind-Positive-Lends a Helping Hand- Stops Bullies- Does Most Helpful Work- Addison Banks- Positive Voicing-Stops Hurtful Words- ALYA-Powerful in Thought- Helps- But Sadly Is Gone- Prince-Always Backed Up Gwen- But Sadly Is Gone Too- watersharky-Helps When Needed-Backs Up Anyone- Curses When Needed- Helps People Through Depression-
These Are The Legends, There Are More Out There You Could Be One Too Just Lend a Helping Hand.
I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes. My teacher turns to the class and asks “If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?” So I raised my hand and said “Asians have small penis” he looked at me and said “very good. But I was looking for a definition.
Attention- Has anyone noticed that Watersharky and Kitten are dating? Its strang because they havent said anything for 28 DAYS!!! They been keeping it a secret...(I guess) Someone needs to keep track of this. GOD I just thought further into life with their relationship DON'T DO THAT. Agent Chipmunk Out
(This is a cruel joke, do not say this to anyone it just popped up in my mind)
Roses are Red Violet's are blue yo grandma died, yo dad left you too, now you living with yo old grandma coot. 'oh' let's not forget yo mom left you to, you gon live alone, die alone, with no roses on yo casket too.
A man enters a bar with some friends, and they all sit down to a drink. After not too long, a man with glasses comes through the front door saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" When no one listens, he shrugs, and everyone watches him go up the stairs. Ten seconds later, he comes back in through the door, again saying "Anyone who wants to fly off the third story balcony, come upstairs with me!" Everyone is amazed, and a few people leave to go fly with him. He keeps coming back into the bar, bringing more and more patrons to join him. The man at the bar is about to join in when the bartender finally sighs. "For the last time Superman, get out of my bar, you're drunk and the only person here that can fly!" The man with glasses frowns. "Where did all the others go, then?"
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
(whats the quickest way to get to the hospital? - just stand in the middle of a busy road) (whats red and bad for your teeth? - a brick) (what do my dad and nemo have in common? - the both can't be found) (what do you do after raping a deaf person? - cut their fingers off so they don't tell anyone) ( MORE JOKES COMING SOON LMAO ;] )
