So, one day I walk up to my sister and tell her that she is adopted because she doesn't look like anyone in the family. She starts to cry. My mom asks why she's crying, and I say I told her she was adopted and I was there for the adoption, and we have papers. It was all a lie. She is not adopted, and everything is fine.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
Anyone know sadgirl101?
My dad left for milk 4 hours ago, anyone know where he is?
If this is offensive to anyone, I'm sorry! Hey, wanna see something funny? Go look in your mirror!
My dick is hard as a rock, anyone wanna fuck?
Teacher: Anyone missing?
Orphan: My parents.
Teacher: Something that is real, kid.
Orphan: My family.
Teacher: OMG, out of my classroom, kid!
Why can't an orphan have sex?
Because they don't have anyone to call "daddy."
Can anyone play me in a no limits femdom RP on Kik?
Does anyone else just want to die, or is it just me?
To anyone who wants to be my friend:
Hello.
Does anyone wanna be my friend? Please if ya' do reply to my: "Hello." In the chat. Tysm. Have a greaat day!
Alex <3
Hello, I'm Ariana. I'm looking for someone. Anyone wanna date me?
Ariana
Why are orphans always on the toilet?
Because they don't have anyone to give them some toilet paper!
Hello.
Anyone does online dating and needs someone? HERE I am!
Does anyone ever get tired of being random? Me neither.
If anyone can see Alya KUHL please tell me! I love and miss her...
Is anyone gay?
Does anyone know where I can get that picture that went around the internet of Steven Hawking looking at the stairway to Heaven and saying “Oh Fu-k”?
Person: So, Jimmy, what do you do all day?
Jimmy Savile: Anyone who I can do.
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.