Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve? Answer; Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".
My mom asks "How did you do this?" Me: "Naw I did it with a fork. WHAT D'YA THINK-"
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Answer Because a orphan doesn’t have a family.
Your family is so poor when you knocked the door for money I offered you a penny and when you knocked again the rock answered and knocked you out
Did you hear about the "Funny Doctor"?
Answer; He'll have you in "Stitches"!
What do you call a Deranged Psychotic Woman with a Stupid Hairdo?
Answer; KERI LAKE!
What is a redneck virgin?
Answer; A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers!
How do you give a woman from Alabama a Nice Compliment?
Answer; You say to her, "Hey, NICE TOOTH!"
Why do they call Melenia Trump the "Walk-In Freezer"?
Answer; Because it's where EVERYONE GOES to "Hang Their Meat"!
How do you know when Helen Keller is home? Answer; When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What is the definition of "Endless Love"? Answer; Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder playing "Tennis"!
Who rates, THESE Jokes, as "Newest" and "Hot"? Answer; a S-T-O-O-G-E
Question; What is the BIG ADVANTAGE to going out on a date with a "Homeless Chic"? Answer; After the date, you can "Drop Her Off" ANYWHERE!
Question; Did YOU KNOW, that "Diarrhea" is HEREDITARY? Answer: It "Runs" in YOUR JEANS!
What is Vladimir Putin's favorite song? Answer; Crimea River!
Question; Why did Donald Trump convert to Judaism? Answer; Because he heard that Vladimir Putin likes to drink vodka with "Orange Jews"!
Question; Why was "6" Scared? Answer; Because "7" ate "9"!
Why did the booger cross the nose
Answer: to get to the other whole
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, „Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?“ Jon said, „I’d be half blind.“ „That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?“ „I’d be completely blind.“ The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, „What would happen if I cut off one ear?“ Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, „I’d be half blind.“ The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. „What if I cut off the other ear?“ „I’d be completely blind,“ Amanpreet answered. „Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?“ „My hat would fall down over my eyes.“
