ANS jokes
Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
I once told an orphan his dad is Spider-Man because he is far from home.
Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.
I got a detention because I told an emo kid to "hang in there."
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
Teacher: "I used to be an orphan once."
Student: "That’s sad."
Teacher: "Anyways, who is away today?"
Student: "Your parents."
What does an Xbox/PlayStation and Michael Jackson have in common?
Kids turn them on.
When an orphan takes a selfie, it's a family photo.
What has two butts and kills people?
An assassin.
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
What do you call an African American pilot?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.