ANS jokes
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Today I saw a little boy wearing rags sitting on a curb. I said, "Awww, are you an orphan?" He said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
Two cannibals have just captured a man and are about to eat him, so they cook him and lay him on a table. The first cannibal says, "You start at the bottom, I start at the top," so they both chow down.
About half an hour later, the second cannibal says, "I'm having a ball!" Then the first cannibal says, "Then you're eating too fast!"
Q: What has two wings and a halo?
A: An Asian phone call, "Wing, Wing, Halo?"
Memes
How to make an orphan BLEED?
Step 1 - Tell them to clap until they actually have a loving family.
Step 2 - LAUGH EVILLY as they BLEED.
Step 3 - Tell them to kys.
Step 4 - Leave that mental asylum.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
How does an Alabama mother know when her daughter is on her period? She can taste the blood on her son’s penis.
I got a job at a library once. I got fired like an hour in because the library manager said that the cookbooks didn’t go into the women’s sports section.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What is the difference between a boomerang and an orphan's dad?
The boomerang comes back.
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
You know those paper families you cut out?
Well, I put one of those in an orphanage.
What do you call an orphan with a boner?
Porn.
What do you call an African American pilot?
A pilot, you racist bastard!
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
Adopt Me.
I came home from school one day and told my cat a kid at school said I was an idiot and told me to go kick rocks, so I did, except I kicked him, not the rocks, and I called him the idiot for not moving out of the way.
Mom said dad had the best pullout game... now I'm an uncle.
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.