ANS jokes

What do you call an idiotic cow?

A mis-steak!

Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."

Two teenagers were raping an 11-year-old girl in an alley, so I stepped in to help. The little bitch didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents always told me when I was little that the sky was the limit.

Remember kids if ur ever mad beat up an orphan what are they gonna do call their mom??

Why is that kid walking like that? Oh, he's an alter boy.

Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?

He got inked up.

A guy was on trial for murder, and if convicted, would get the electric chair. His brother found out that a redneck was on the jury and figured he would be the one to bribe. He told the redneck that he would be paid $10,000 if he could convince the rest of the jury to reduce the charge to manslaughter.

The jury was out an entire week and returned with a verdict of manslaughter.

After the trial, the brother went to the redneck's house, told him what a great job he had done, and paid him the $10,000.

The redneck replied that it wasn't easy to convince the rest of the jury to change the charge to manslaughter. They all thought he was not guilty and wanted to let him go.

what's the difference between an onion and a baby?

nobody cries when you cut up the baby.

What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

In some places in the world, you can't get an abortion even after rape. That's so fucked up.

You serve your time, you get out, and you STILL have to pay child support. What a nightmare.

What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?

I don't know, I just fly the drone.

There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.

What's an alien's favorite computer key?

The space bar!

What is an orphan's favorite show?

Batman.

What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.

What's the best thing about an abortion joke??

No one gets offended.

What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.

What is an orphan's least favorite movie?

Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.