ANS jokes

Alligator

    • A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.

    The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."

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    • ANS memes

    Name

    • Two guys are on a plane. One of the guys' name is Jack. The other is Peter.

    Peter: "Hi Jack."

    Flight Attendant: "You're going to hijack the plane?!?"

    Jack: "No, my name is Ja-"

    Flight Attendant: "Everybody stay calm! These two men are going to hijack the plane!"

    Jack: "No, no. My name is Jack and my friend here is an idiot."

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    • Suicide

    • What's the difference between an orgy and mass suicide?

    When exactly my cult members drink the Kool-Aid.

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    • Car

    • As an American, I like cars. And like all car enthusiasts, even just a little scratch can ruin a brand new car.

    So why is it that we go to different countries like India and see that almost every car is completely totaled? I guess we have different meanings of "it's just a scratch."

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    • Orphan

    • So there's an orphan in a hospital, and the doctor walks up and says, "Sorry, kid, but this is a family hospital."

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    • Emo

    • There are perks to bringing an emo to the grocery store; you can get coupons by scanning their wrist.

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