ANS jokes
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
What has an N, an I, two Gs, an E, and an R?
Ginger!
The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.
There was a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette. They were all trapped on an island, and the nearest shore was 50 miles away.
The redhead swam, trying to make it to the other shore. She swam 15 miles, drowned, and died.
The brunette swam 24 miles, drowned, and died.
The blonde swam 25 miles, got tired, and swam back.
I was reading a book about an immortal dog yesterday...
It was impossible to put down.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?