ANS jokes
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
While an unsuspecting father's at the office making money, this 18 year old son will spend his day in mother's cunny.
We're at the breakfast table, father eats and takes his calls, he doesn't know my mother's toes are kneading at my balls.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
me: I'm going to steal your heart.
her: omg that's so romantic!!
me, an organ trafficker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
What is the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
Criminals are wanted.
Is a selfie of an orphan a self-portrait or family photo?
What did me and my uncle call hide and seek? Naked and afraid.
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
Whenever you're mad, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons. "My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don't succumb to his sexual advances I would have to jump out of the plane," and his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?" The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."
I'm trying to come up with a set-up for an amputee joke, but I'm stumped.
If a deaf person is missing fingers, is it a speech impediment or an accent?
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
"You the bomb!" No, "you the bomb!" A compliment in America, an argument in Afghanistan.
What kind of beer is an orphan's favorite?
Foster's!