ANS jokes
So there's this uncle of female and male twins, and his sister, the mother of the twins, is stuck trying to think of a name for the children. The uncle says, "I've got an idea!", and the mother gets excited, thinking this could be it. She says, "What should their names be?"
The uncle replies, "Well for your daughter, Denise." "That's a nice name," comments the mother, "but what about my son?" The uncle simply replies, "Denephew".
How to make an orphan's hand bleed? By making them clap until their parents come back.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between a nose and an orphan? A nose gets picked more.
A drunk walks into a bar and says, "All lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar says, "I resent that!" The drunk says, "Why, are you a lawyer?" and the other guy says, "No, I'm an asshole!"
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
Your forehead is so large, if I drew an H on it, maybe Kobe could've landed.
Rape is such an ugly word, I prefer the term "struggle snuggle."
What do you call an Asian prostitute?
Suck Mi Dong.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Why is a moon rock tastier than an Earth rock?
Because it’s a little meteor.
What happens when an emo kid loses a Kahoot? He gets a 25 kill streak.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Q: What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A: A stump.
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.
The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."
Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."
Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.