ANS jokes
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
What’s the difference between a chicken and an orphan?
The chicken is actually used for something.
What do you call an alpaca of Pakistani nationality?
An alpaki.
How do you make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles!
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”
Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.
So I threw a coconut at her.
"Harry Hicks smells of home. Homo is an infection, and infections are made up of atoms."
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
What do you call an adopted orphan?
Wanted.
What do ya call an emo that's hung himself? Hangman.
Gwen: Addison, I don't mean to be mean but you're really starting to be an asshole!
Addison: I don't know what you mean. I've always been an asshole. That is why people pound me in the asshole!
Kariah: That's sad!
What is an orphan's least favorite show?
"Full House."
What's better than having unprotected sex? Getting an abortion.
What egg do you buy an orphan?
Free range.
I tried to tell an Armenian genocide joke in Istanbul.
Nobody got it.
What did the passengers of the plane say when they saw the airplane strip? Nothing, because it was not an airplane strip, but a tower.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family photo.
One day, a man visited an orphanage.
Then he sees a kid crying. The man asked, "Where are your parents?"
The kid cries even harder.
What's an African's favorite TV show?
Meal Or No Meal!
Why can't an orphan play football? Because they can't find home or return it.