ANS jokes
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Teacher: Students, tomorrow bring your parents to the open house.
Student one orphan: I don't have any.
Student 2: What is the difference between you and an escaped prisoner?
Student one orphan: What!
Student 2: The prisoner gets picked.
What do you call an orphan in Alabama?
A virgin.
Why did an orphan rob a bank?
To be wanted.
An orphan's family photo: empty.
What does a kid say to an orphan, "Where are your parents?"\n\n"I don’t have parents. Where are yours? Are you an orphan like me? I hope not!"
What's an orphan's dream job?
A builder, to build themselves a home.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
You can get into a fight with an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
I don't want to date an alien.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
The parents used to hit him.
His parents got into a car crash and died.
He became an orphan in an orphanage. The people there hit him. He looked up and said "Parents?"
Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.
Orphan: Go on then.
Me: Your family tree.
I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."
What kind of cake can an orphan not have?
Homemade.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
If I busted an egg on your head... The yolk would be on you... hahaha...