ANS jokes

They didn't have a category for Bald, so I chose the Bald Eagle.

Did you know that bald people have an endless forehead?

How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian?

The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."

(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)

What did the priest say when he walked into an elementary school?

Let us prey.

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

What is a Karen called in Europe?

An American.

What is the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?

Pikachu, I choose you!

What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?

Autistemist Prime.

My teacher gave me an A in Physics, then she tells me that it turns guys on.

Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?

Because they have a Target at every corner.

If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He can't run home.

What is a cannibal's favorite place to go? An orphanage. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

Make them clap until their parents come back.