ANS jokes
The man had no arms and a little girl came over and said, "Give me a high-five."
He said, "I’ve got no arms," and the girl said, "Are you an eel? Cause he don’t have arms."
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What does an orphan wish they could do?
Wish happy Mother's Day and Father's Day.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Memes
Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
There are some questionable candies out there, such as:
"All I want is a good Blow Pop."
"I don’t even want to know where that Butterfinger has been."
"If you do, you’ll probably end up with tasting the rainbow."
"Nobody wants to bite into an O’Henry."
"Or adopt Three Musketeers."
"Or even end up with a Sour Patch."
Foxy the fox was a careless fox. She didn't care about her friend Froggy.
Froggy was a careful frog. One day, Froggy decided to teach the fox a lesson.
Foxy was in her bed sleeping when Froggy made her room an entire mess. She got up, and then her mother berated her for not cleaning her room. From now on, she is a careful fox.
How do you start a dance party?
Go into the PTSD ward of an insane asylum and set off fireworks and watch the magic unfold.
VOTING QUARTERFINAL 4
LIKE: When you’re playing dead and the school shooter starts unbuckling his belt and you hear him say “This boy always had a fat ass”.
DISLIKE: When you’re hiding from the school shooter next to people who made fun of you for having an Android: “HEY SIRI”
Vote for the better joke. Semifinals are later or tomorrow.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.
What is an orphan's favorite game on Roblox?
Adopt Me...
A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.
Which one hits the ground first?
The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.
What's an orphan's most hated show?
The Fosters.
What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Q: What happens when an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
A: He breaks his nose.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.