ANS jokes
I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you call an ex-lesbian?
A clitter quitter.
What’s an orphan’s favorite movie?
Spider-Man: Homecoming.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
What is an orphan’s least favorite movie?
"Spider-Man," because it told them there was no way home.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
They can't find home.
Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
I punched an orphan and told him to go back to his parents and tell them about it... Oh, wait.
So I told an orphan to slap themselves until they are wanted. I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves. Then I stopped them and told them to punch themselves.
The next day I saw a dead orphan.
What game can an emo play on their wrists without an ink pen?
Tic-tac-toe.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because it saw an iceberg selling candy.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What's an orphan's least favorite joke?
Dad jokes.
Why is the U.S. so mad about the Twin Towers? It was an accident. The pilots were new.
What's the difference between an orphan and Stuart Little?
Stuart Little got chosen!
Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.