ANS jokes
What do you call a selfie of an orphan? A family photo.
Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
So I went to Comic-Con and saw a man with an arm missing, and I thought, "Cool display," until I heard him screaming and getting the other arm chopped off. Then I said, "Man, now that's a 10/10 display, wow!"
Memes
Imagine you are getting eaten by an alligator. What do you do?
Stop imagining!
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What do you call an injured person who doesn't want to play a game with you? A sore loser.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
Why don't you act like an amoeba and split?
I have had an obsession with soap. Don’t worry, I am all clean now!
You’re a grey sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
Why are Democrats represented by the donkey? Because some Democrats can be such an ass!
There was an oil spill in the ocean. Now the ocean can't see!
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
What do you get when you cross a pedophile and an elementary school? Predator 3.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Andrew drew a picture of Andrew.