ANS jokes

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.

What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?

"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.

When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

One of them gets picked.

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.

What's another name for an Incel? A feminist.

When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.

I took an Uber home the other day, and the bastard was swerving all over the road and driving on the shoulder... I said, "Who the f*ck taught you to drive?" To this, he replied, "Stevie Wonder."

Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.

What is Green and Red and goes round and round?

A frog in a blender.

(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?

One can support an average family.

What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?

They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.

What's the difference between an orphan and Spider-Man?

There's no way home.

I made an orphan website.

But it did not have a home page.

My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.

So I had him bring my wife.

I went to see my dentist, and she warned me it was going to hurt. Then, she told me she was having an affair with my husband. Good news though...the cleaning didn't hurt.

I was walking past an orphan and I said, "Just go home."