ANS jokes
What do you call an orphan home alone?
A family reunion.
Why can't an orphan play basketball?
Because no one will be cheering them on.
What is an orphan's excuse to leave a party?
"I'm gonna make like my parents and run."
What's the difference between an apple and a black man?
Apples look better hanging on a tree.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
no fucking goddamn way
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple gets picked.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One of them gets picked.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
When Ant-Man is the size of an atom, how can he breathe?
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
Once upon a time, fraternal twins, brother and sister, with almost 100% equal DNA were separated at birth. At the age of 42, they were married, had 2 sons and 2 daughters. They took an ancestryDNA test, and the results were scientifically sexually shocking.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
My friend put an action toy and called it Kobe and put it on a drone. I realized that my friend didn't know how to fly a drone.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
My son told me he has to bring an object for show and tell at school.
So I had him bring my wife.
Why should you never give an orphan a phone?
Because they wouldn't be able to find the home button.
What is the difference between an orphan and a deaf kid?
They can't hear or speak to their parents that never came back.