ANS jokes

What is the octopus's favorite shape?

An octagon.

What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?

A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.

Why does an orphan play GTA to be wanted? 😂😭

Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

So I was on a Discord call the other day, and one of my friends, an American buddy, joined, and we had a conversation.

Until they said: "When did pounds change to quid?"

And I said: "They're the exact same thing."

Then they said: "But when did it happen?"

So I said: "When did school change to shooting range?"

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

Why isn’t the word “orphan” spelled with an “f” instead of “ph?” Because that “f” stands for “family,” and the word “orphan” doesn’t have a family.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an emo bitch?

The Twin Towers hit the ground.

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Yo mama so dumb, she went to the eye doctor to get an iPhone.

Little Johnny said he wanted a coffee, so his mom said he can have one.

He got an espresso, not knowing "depresso" came with it.

What do you call an egg murder?

An eggs-terminator!

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

What’s an orphan's favorite movie?

"Home Alone."

I made an orphan website. It does not have a home page.

What's the difference between an apple and emos?

They both hang on trees.

What do you call an orphan home alone?

A family reunion.

Why can't an orphan play basketball?

Because no one will be cheering them on.