ANS jokes
When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:
Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?
What does an Al Qaeda terrorist and a flexible man have in common?
They can blow themselves up.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? One of them gets picked.
What is an orphan's favorite movie?
Home Alone.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'll tell you tomorrow!
There should be a "kick an orphan" day.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
What's black and white and red all over? An American School.
Wanna see a mistake go on camera and take a pic of you?
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
What do you call an autistic army special forces?
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Walk up to an emo and say, "I like your cuts G."
Why does an emo wish they were a fish?
Because they're underwater.
What's the difference between a flower and an orphan?
One is allowed in the house.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto!
What an upside to being an orphan!
There's things called family-size bags.
What's a similarity of an orphan and a deaf kid?
They both can't hear their parents.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
An orphan was running down the road. A car pulled up and said, "Get in." So the orphan got in and said, "Where are we going?" The kidnapper said, "I'm taking you to my house." The orphan replied, "OML, ARE YOU ADOPTING ME!?"