ANS jokes
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
If I get an atom, I would split it with you.
What's the difference to a kamikaze and bin Ladin?
Bin Ladin survived when he went into a building. I have aids.
What do you call an orphan with no legs in an adoption center?
Answer: Who cares?
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Which country of the world has the poorest/most hungry people?
Answer: Hungary
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
I’m doin' your mom. Yes yours!
I first saw her in the Wal-Mart pickin' out your drawers.
Big Dolly Parton hair like an 80s prom queen
But her ass was lookin' good all up in those mom-jeans.
I approached her in the checkout line, and said yo baby wassup?
She had two gallons of milk, and I was starin' at her jugs.
Five minutes later she agreed to get with me
So we went and rocked the minivan like Giggity. Giggity. Giggity.
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart.
I gave her a lift back to her crib cause her car wouldn’t start.
She invited me in the house, and we started makin' out again.
How many times I tap that ass? OVER 9000!
Yeah. She called me Pledge cause I knocked the dust off it.
She later made me a sandwich and she cut the crust off it.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young
To be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
Doin' doin' your mom doin' doin' your mom
You know we straight with doin' your mom
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
What is the difference between an American and an orphan?
They don't have a home to get their guns.
Big Dolly Parton hair, like an 80s prom queen!
An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
What does a pulse and an orgasm have in common?
I don't care if she has one.