ANS jokes
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
He doesn't know where home is.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky was the limit.
When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.
It was an emotional wedding, even the cake was in tiers.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
There's an orphan in my class... For some reason, he never leaves.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an asshole, his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him up!
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
Why does Snoop Dogg use an umbrella?
Fo' drizzle.
What's the difference between a bear with a gun and an American man with a gun?
The bear has common sense not to fire it.
Q: What do you call an angry monkey?
A: Furious George!
What is the difference between an emo and a normal person?
An emo slits.
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
An assassin is about to shoot his target, "I'm about to give you the JFK experience."
One day, I saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. I asked if he was an orphan. He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?" I said, "His parents."
A little girl and a little boy are taking a bath together when the little girl looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little boy says, "That's my little red race car." 10 minutes later, the boy looks down and asks, "What's that?" The little girl says, "That's my little red race car garage."
So later that night the boy asks the little girl if he can put his little red race car in her little red race car garage. She says yes, and they pull down their pants and the boy tries putting his little red race car in her garage, but it won't fit. Downstairs, the mother hears an ear-piercing scream and runs upstairs, flips on the lights, and sees blood on the floor. The mother asks, "What happened?" The little girl says, "We tried putting his car in my garage and it wouldn't fit, so I cut the back wheels off."
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.