ANS jokes

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

Want to know what I do in my freetime?

Punch an orphan, cuz what are they going to do, tell their mom?

What do an Olympic silver medalist and a Catholic priest have in common?

A: They both come in a little behind.

What do a Catholic priest and an Olympic silver medalist have in common? A: They both come in a little behind.

I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"

"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.

Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?

Teacher: 203

Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?

Teacher: You can't.

Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?

Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?

Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.

The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?

Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.

Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.

Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?

Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?

Student: No, the alligators are at the party.

Sally dies anyway, how?

Teacher: She frowned?

Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.

An anti-bullying PSA and speeding PSA from the same creator meet one another.

The death toll went sky high.

Being an orphan isn’t all bad.

On the bright side, all your snacks are family sized.

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

I told an orphan to never stop talking until their parents come home.

Now I can’t get it to shut up.