ANS jokes

I’m rather relaxed about death.

From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.

As a lifelong farmer, I was excited that Ligue 1 was moving up the UEFA ranking toward an Industrial Revolution and I can finally leave the farm. Alas, Pessi joined and we went down a rank because he is so finished. Shame on you Pessi, now I have to go back to shoveling cow shit.

Do you know what a reverse exorcism is?

It's when the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.

What is an orphan's least favorite movie?

Spider-Man, because it told them there was no way home.

Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors' fault like this:

Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: Yeah? Sailor 1: You see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: Yeah. Sailor 1: You know what would be pretty funny?

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    • Once there were three girls taking a walk in the mountains. One was a brunette, one was a redhead, and the other was a dumb blonde. They came to a cliff and the brunette said, "If you jump off that cliff and say what you want to be you will become it." So the brunette jumped off and said "falcon" and became a falcon. The redhead jumped off and said "eagle" and became an eagle. The dumb blonde ran, was about to jump, but tripped on a rock, and said "crap."

    If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.

    Me talks to an orphan: Hey, I have a joke.

    Orphan: Go on then.

    Me: Your family tree.

    Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

    I was writing my final exams, and I saw a question saying to name the smallest thing in the world. To my knowledge, I chose an atom.

    My Chemistry teacher said it was PSG. I was shocked beyond repair. Shame on you, PSG, I'm now a college dropout!