Annoying jokes

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.

My blind friend is so annoying, he kept bumping into things even though I repeatedly told him to look where he was going.

I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.

There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.

Three men walk into heaven at the same time. They all live in the same city. God asks the first man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I have a heart condition, and I've been suspecting my wife of cheating for some time. Anyway, I get home from work and I see my wife on the bed and a man hanging off the balcony. I get so mad and stomp on the guy's fingers! He falls into a bush, so I throw a refrigerator on him." God asks the next man, "How did you die?" The man says, "I was cleaning the windows, and then this crazy man starts stomping on my fingers! Luckily, I fall safely in a bush! But then a refrigerator falls on me!" God asks the third man, and he says, "I was the one in the fridge!"

What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?

90% of America's population.

Uh, six teachers are annoying. Thank God I am not getting picked on at school or on this website.

My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.

Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea.

Why did God create yeast infections?

So women would know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

What do you call an annoying emo kid? A nuisance.

An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator.

"Where are you heading today?" the man asks.

"I'm going down to give blood."

"How much do you get paid for giving blood?"

"About $30."

"Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100."

The woman, slightly annoyed, gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again.

"Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?"

"Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.

Why is it annoying to eat by basketball players? Because they dribble all the time!

Why don't women parachute naked?

That annoying whistling sound on the way down.

Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.

So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her, "Can you stop smacking? It's annoying." Then she said, "I can't, it's a juicy type of candy." So I said, "I can stop the candies from making that sound." Then she said, "How?" So I smacked her. :)

When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.

Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.

My sister says I’m annoying, or that’s what I read in her diary.

My sister is so annoying. She won $10,000 to go to hell.