Animal jokes
I had a goldfish that could break dance on the carpet... but only for, like, twenty seconds and only once.
Head look like a mf gorilla pop.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
What do you call a chicken that catches ghosts? A poultrygeist.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"
Elephant
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He forgot his eggs.
What do you call a funny cow?
A cowmedian.
I put my fish on a leash so I could teach him to walk. Then I took him out for a walk. Then, when I put him back in the tank, he stopped moving.
what do you call a chicken who crossed the road?........suicidal.
So I stayed at my friend's house for a few days, and I was like, "OMG, why?" So, I am going home because I’m going to my best friend's house.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
A woman walks into a supermarket and sees a blind man swinging a dog around in the air. So, the woman walks up to him and asks, "What are you doing?" The man says, "Just having a look around."
Why was the whale sad?
Because he is blue!
Billy and Nanny have 2 kids.
What do you call a bear without an ear?
B.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see his friend.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow!
What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
Two cows are out grazing in the field. One cow says to the other cow, "Aren't you worried about this mad cow disease that's been going around?" The other cow replied, "Why would I be worried about mad cow disease? I'm a rabbit!"
What did the chicken say to the turkey?
Nothing, he chickened out!