Animal jokes
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator ;)
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
My dog got stuck in my ass, help!
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Where do cows stop to drink?
The Milky Way!
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.
Bird Box.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why did the duck get arrested? Because he was selling quack.
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What did the hungry Dalmation say when he had some kibble?
That hit the spot!
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.
I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.