I hit something when I pulled into my driveway.
And then I noticed that my cat was missing.
What's Superman's weaknesses? Kryptonite and horses.
My dad told me a new version of a happy birthday song:
Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!
No offense to anyone reading this on their birthday.
Dad: You’re looking pretty sheepish.
Son: That’s too baaaaaad!
What does the chicken say when he didn't understand something?
"What hap-HENd?"
why can't you play with a cheetah?
Because they are cheat-ahs
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other side.
MAGAnon is the goat.
🦆🦆🦆
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q: Why do birds need feathers?
A: To cover up their butt quack!
I got kicked outta the poker game.
They said I was a little cheetah.
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why did the cheetah kill the lion? Because he farted.
I know my jokes suck.
What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus.
What did momma seal name her twin girls?
Luceal and Sealia.
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What would you name your pet rabbit?
Harry.
What did the human say to the fly when it was buzzing around the human's head?
"Would you stop bugging me!"
