Animal jokes
Teacher: Here, have candy.
Kid: No, I’m too fat.
Teacher: Shut up, or I’m gonna fail you.
*Next week*
Teacher: Okay kids, get off the floor and go back to your seats.
Kid: I’m too fat to get up.
Teacher: Don’t you remember what I said?
Kid: Yep, elephants don’t forget.
What do you call a cow in the snow?
Chilli Beef.
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
What did the grape say when the fox stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
AOT > ur fav anime.
"Bunny was so hopping to see you this week."
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
Mrs. Harolen: Students, tomorrow's assignment is to bring your parents to school for a conference with the teacher information.
Garen: I want to know who cannot bring their parents to a conference. ORPHANS!
Students: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Mrs. Harolen: Garen sit down! NOW!
Garen: Hey, why can't orphans get a dog? They don't have their parents to drive them to the animal shelter.
Halen: Yeah! Why are orphans racist? Because they never saw their parents with a different race!
Students: No, that's not funny!
Student: SHUT UP!
Joke 1# "Knock, knock." Who's there? "Pastur." Pastur who? "Past ur bedtime."
Joke 2# Why does a slug always win a race? Because its components always stop for a break.
Joke 3# Your momma's so fat when she stepped on the scale it said, "I asked for your weight, not your phone number."
What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
Lickalotapuss.
Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"
A farm full of cows were bombed, and only two survived. All of the udders died.
What do you call a monkey in a mine field?
BaBOOM!
What do cheetahs say?
"Cheese-ah!"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was dumb.
What's a cat's favorite color? Purrrple!
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!