B b b b bird bird bird, the bird banged your mom!
Animal Jokes
What is a monkey's favorite game? A Hangman!
Joe Biden said he was going to a petting zoo.
Trump said schools are not petting zoos.
Why did the rhino eat the car?
Poop.
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.
What is the difference between a white octopus and a white squid?
A white octopus isn't in the KKK!
So, a blind guy is sitting on a park bench with his seeing eye dog right beside him. Suddenly, his seeing eye dog cocks his leg and pisses all over the blind guy's leg. So the blind guy gives the dog a treat.
A man taking a walk saw the entire thing and said to the blind man, "That is the most charitable thing I’ve ever seen, your dog deliberately pissed on you and here you are giving him a dog biscuit." The blind man says, "Oh it’s not what you think, I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick him in the ass."
Mary had a great big ram, his fleece was white as snow, when on hands and knees our Mary went, his wad was sure to blow.
Month by month her belly grew, increasing in its girth, and when five months had flown by, our Mary did give birth.
And Mary had a little lamb, a little lamb, a little lamb...
A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.
"What are you doing all day?"
"Knot a lot."
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
I fiddled your mum last night, she fucking moaned like a fucking wilder beast.
What is the difference between a horse and a rabbit?
A horse can't hoop.
What did the cat say when he fell off the table?
MEOM!
A cow was standing in a corn field. The chicken walked by and said annoyingly, "What do I see here? Corned beef!?"
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!
What is the cheapest meat?
"Deer balls," they're under a buck!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common?
They both hang from the tree.
What is the similarity between a sloth and a depressed kid?
They both hang from trees.
