And jokes

What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?

"STUPID VINIGGER!"

Boy: *scares girl*

Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"

Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*

Girl: What work?

Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"

I was at a funeral and told a joke, and my sister said, "I'm dead." So I said, "That's what she said."

Yo mama so fat, when she put on a yellow raincoat people see her and yell "Hey yo, taxi!"

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"

Friend: Why did you touch me?

Me: That guy in the corner with no hair, glasses, really nice, white button up shirt, that drives a white van slow by school zones told me to and he would give me hard candy.

What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?

The Demon at least has a trade offer.

What is the difference between Jesus and a painting?

It only takes 1 nail to hang a painting!

Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.

The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!

Donald Trump and Fanta both have some things in common.

They are both orange and were conceived from Nazis!

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?

In Washington D.C.

I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!

I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.

If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.

Once there was a boat. Its friends said,

"It's time to come back." And the boat said,

"No way. I don't give into pier pressure."

What's the difference between a cop car and a hedgehog?

With a cop car, all the pricks are on the inside.

Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?

A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”

Why do cows have hooves and not feet? They lactose.