And jokes

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing!

What's black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

What's the difference between a boomerang and my dad?

The boomerang comes back.

The Twin Towers ordered 3 tacos.

One was just a plane tortilla.

The other one was also just a plane tortilla.

And the third one went to the wrong address.

What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?

One gets picked.

Q: What's the difference between a suicide vest and a feminist?

A: At least one does something when it is triggered.

I saw a man. I saw another man. And I saw another. Where am I? Comment below.

Yo mom's so old, she went into the museum and walked out with a raise.

I never make that type of joke. They always seem to crash and burn.

"Hola soy Dora, do you see Donald Trump? That’s right, he’s at my house, and he’s building a wall to separate me and Caillou. And Mami won’t let him, so she was walled alive!"

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

I made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem.

I call it my trail mix.

What do ninjas and depressed people have in common?

They're always cutting.

I saw a kid crying, sitting on the sidewalk, and I asked him where his parents were. He then cried even more. God, I love working at the orphanage.

So recently I hit an orphan with a 2x4, and he started crying. What's he gonna do? Tell his family? XD

I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.

But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"

What is the similarity between math and buildings?

Two parallel lines can be intersected by a plane.

If you text your crush and they leave you on read, just know that "read" has four letters. You know what also has four letters? "Mine." So that basically means that you are theirs. :)

It's all fun and games until they start dancing.